Window Seat Scribbles

How many times have we come across hoardings of women dressed as Doctors, Army Officers, Engineers, Lawyers etc as poster-girls of women empowerment? How many times have we pointed out the likes of Kiran Bedi, Kalpana Chawla, Indra Nooyi, Sudha Murthy, Mithali Raj, Sania Mirza as role models to our girls? How many times have we come across posts on social media where two pictures are juxtaposed against one another- one of a group of women in a nightclub vs one of a group of women in uniform- telling us to pick the latter over the former? Is this what we mean when we say we want to “empower” our women?   In our society, a woman is “inspirational” only if she is either a financially independent, headstrong female shattering her way through    patriarchal shackles or if she is a multitasking homemaker keeping an impeccable home and hearth, with a smile in place, no less. Both these versions of “ideal” women are -needless to say - morally stoic and upright with no vices whats...

  This morning, while on a phone call with my mother to check up on a family friend admitted in hospital with Covid-19, my mother happened to casually remark –“He is on ventilator since the past few days, you know how they simply keep patients on ventilators anyway for days on end…” I immediately retorted, “What do you mean, they keep patients on ventilators? You think they have any other choice when dealing with a critical patient?” This off the cuff remark, however casual, just reflected the deep mistrust most of people in this country have for doctors, especially the ones who practice allopathic medicine. Following the surge of Covid cases in India this year, the ICUs filled up fast and quick, more rapidly than anyone was prepared for. What we witnessed was no less than a tragedy of epic proportions unfolding before our very eyes, on our TV screens- or as far as doctors are concerned- everyday at work. That we were unprepared is no secret, and amidst the cries calling for acc...

  For weeks on end now, Indian news channels have followed – or rather, hounded- the case of an unfortunate and untimely death of a movie star with the persistence of a bank exceutive trying to sell you a credit card and the sensitivity of a sledgehammer. Many articles have since cropped up on both sides of the table-debating, analysing and ultimately ruing at what has come to pass for “journalism” these days- and with news channels crossing every ethical limit possible, the reproach is somewhat understandable. The antics of the anchors on the primetime news vary from outrageous, absurd, scandalous, sleazy to downright unintentionally comic, but this is hardly surprising to anyone who has been following popular Indian news channels for a few years now.   I have stopped watching primetime news altogether simply because I acknowledge that almost all of it is politically sponspored propaganda one way or the other aimed to distract people from asking real questions about real issu...

Ever since Covid-19 broke out and disrupted our lives as we knew it, there has been an outpouring of gratitude for healthcare workers all over the world. It has been no different in India. From banging vessels to showering flowers, we have been at the receiving end of it all. One would think that would make us feel nice that our efforts are (finally) acknowledged. Unfortunately, it doesn’t.  It’s not about working without adequate protective gear. Many of us realise that PPE is a genuine logistical nightmare for even some of the first world countries , and to get PPEs for all doctors in a country with a doctor patient ratio as screwed up as ours was never going to be a cakewalk. It also isn’t about doctors or nurses being thrown out of their homes by landlords, nor is it about stones and abuses being hurled at healthcare workers responsible for community screening. Simply because doctors in India have always been so demonised, so deeply mistrusted, so taken for granted that a...

It is a Sunday morning. I wake up lazily around 8.30 am (which is two hours later than my usual), not sleep deprived and groggy for a change. A relaxed breakfast with the husband over discussions about the morning news followed by some chores and on to cooking a typical Sunday lunch of mutton curry and rice, which compels us to give in to the temptation of an afternoon siesta. The evening is spent enjoying some me-time – reading or calling up friends and family. Sounds like any usual Sunday, doesn’t it? Not for us. This, is something I haven’t been able to do (with or without Covid-19 wreaking havoc worldwide) for the longest time. For those who don’t know me, I and my husband are doctors currently working in Kerala. We moved here around 7 months ago from Assam for my husband’s three year superspeciality course. What with him being a first year DM resident and me working as an Assistant Professor in a medical college here, we both hardly get any time to spend with each other. Th...

"Sister, when will the Doctor be here?", asked a middle aged man. I turned from my examination table, where I was examining a six year old boy, and replied, " I am the doctor, how can I help you?". The man looked at me doubtfully - I was in a salwar kameez with my stethoscope around my neck - and repeated - " No but Sister, I need my child to be seen by a Doctor  Sir".   This is only one of the many incidents that I- as well as most of my young female colleagues at work- go through on a daily basis. Young female doctors get mistaken for nurses all the time, although the nursing staff always has a specific uniform. The young male doctors, however, do not encounter any such confusion. I have no idea whether I can label this as casual sexism or pure ignorance, but people across social and economic spectrums tend to address female doctors as "Sister" as opposed to "Madam". The men, however, get to be "Sir" throughout.  S...

As a lanky young girl in her late teens who first stepped into Medical School, I gawked in horror when I was told that I was supposed to wear sarees to classes for a month or so as part of the college tradition for all Freshers. That the whole saree thing was to be accompanied by drippingly oiled hair parted in the middle and braided with the ends tied with fluorescent orange and green ribbons is another story in itself, of course. But for the eighteen year old me, who didn't really care how she looked, the oiled hair wasn't an issue as much as the saree was - simply because I had absolutely no clue how to drape one.  Cut to a little over a decade later, as a newly married woman, the women of my husband's family and extended family are pleasantly surprised as to just how comfortably I drape my sarees, not requiring the help that was very generously offered by a bevy of aunts and sisters in law. Somewhere in these past few years, I fell in love with this quintessential...

It's a question that has stumped all, and that too since centuries. What do women want? Women have been labelled puzzling, moody, incredulously unpredictable creatures - and I do not disagree or deny any of these. We are all of this, and more. We are foolishly childish when happy, vicious when angry, oddly silent when hurt, smiling while maybe crying inside - we are quite a handful, to say the least.  With all our weird eccentricities, no wonder men don't get us. Men, conditioned to support, encourage and bear the major "responsibilities" in life - Men, those delightfully upfront creatures who wait for a similar upfront response from women...only to be met with monosyllables, or worse, total silence. Sounds familiar, eh? The famous book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" tried to tackle this problem head on years ago. I remember the initial few pages were about how men should simply listen, and not do  anything per se, since all that the wom...

Being a millenial comes with its own pros and cons. From being born in mid/late 80s when the technology boom had not yet hit us, to growing up and becoming literally slaves to our mobile phones and laptops. We have had opportunities that our previous generations couldn't even dream of and (at the very least) the chance to have a quality of life that they could hardly, if ever, hope to afford. Small wonder then, that our hobbies and interests have also evolved from simplistic joys like reading at home to now travelling extensively to the places we read about or opting to attend music festivals in different countries to experience the music itself -these being only a few examples among many, many more.  Like most others of my generation, I enjoy travelling immensely. Travelling was more of a compulsion rather than a hobby growing up thanks to my father's job, but somehow I grew to enjoy the experience and continue to do so till date. But more than the different places, the ...

Of late, "Feminism" has become arguably one of the most feared words and "Feminists" have come to earn labels like "Man haters" and "Feminazis". So much so that the actual meaning- the interpretation of what it means to be a feminist- is now blurry to most. But that's not the most unfortunate part. The most unfortunate part, in my opinion, is the fact that it's not the men, but the women who contribute to a skewed interpretation of what it means to be a Feminist.  In the age of social media frenzy that we live in, the need to be politically correct seems to override everything, sometimes even plain logic. Ads and movie scenes and dialogues which may have been totally uncontroversial say, ten years ago- are now subject to extreme scrutiny and are combed for sexist tones, if any. Doing so is most definitely welcome and I couldn't be happier about it, but going overboard with it is simply silly, and sometimes downright ridiculous. ...

It is a Sunday morning and I wake up a few minutes past eleven in my hostel room. Groggy from over seven hours of sleep in the chilly Dibrugarh winter, I promptly turn over and sleep some more. I have an off from work today, I haven't made any plans with friends (yet) and the day is mine as to what I want to do with it. This sounds like any normal student in his/her early twenties living in a hostel. Hostel life can feel alien and uncomfortable in the begining, but once you get used to it, one starts realising the perks it comes with. Sure, there are rules to stick to and curfews to be met (only girls hostels have those, mind you), but it gives you by and large a sense of freedom and independence not encountered before.  Most graduate course programmes are over by the time you are in your early twenties, and if you are in med school, you may be in it for a while longer. But throw in masters courses, university programs for post grads and you get the option of staying in ...

Scanning the papers over the last 48 hours or so, I have seen the same pictures of proud parents and beaming candidates over and over again beneath headlines screaming "22 year old tops UPSC exam". And since we are in the age of overinformation and social media, I am also told who stood 2nd, 3rd...with page long interviews for us to peruse so that we come to know how they worked hard to achieve this feat. Similar stories feature on front pages of newspapers every year when the CBSE/ISCE/ISC Class 10 and Class 12 boards results come out (although these days, the topper does get royally trolled online as well). The IIT or PMT exams are no different and the toppers are usually found giving tips and interviews so that others benefit from their experience and methods. I respect these students. Not because they cracked super difficult examinations, but for their sheer perseverance and hard work. Being a doctor myself, I know how hard I worked to get in here and yet, I was among...

In a country where your name (more importantly, your surname) is more or less a reflection of your identity- from where you belong down to your caste and religion- imagine having a name that doesn't pin you down to a certain state or territory or region, even. Given that situation, I have now come to simply laugh off the surprised reactions I get when people realise I am Assamese. I have had colleagues who simply assumed I was Bengali for years,friends of friends enquiring which part of Delhi or Punjab I am from and even random aunties at weddings judging me for gorging on chicken because apparently, I am a Marwari! I usually laugh the whole thing off, sometimes even playing a guessing game with the people who seem hellbent on decoding where I actually am from. But somewhere at the back of my mind, over the years, a nagging question has kept building up in my mind--a question I have tried to answer very many times, although not very satisfactorily--- What does being an Assamese...

No. I am not Salman Khan. And this is not about a footpath and the " driverless" car that ran over it. It is, though, about being simply human, despite the world expecting you to be otherwise. A white coat and a stethoscope does not make me a Saint, and definitely not Satan. I remain, at my core, a person, trying to figure out life just like a million others out there. Does my job get to me? On some days, yes it does. When I haven't been home for the better part of the year, when I see people of my age discover new experiences, when my friends and family get married or have kids and I can't make it and all I do is spend hours among the sick and miserable, its hard not to get demotivated. Infact, its impossible not to. But I am not even allowed to voice this, since I am told I apparently signed up "to serve humanity." While that particular claim still remains debatable, let me tell you what I DID sign up for. I signed up for the adrenaline rush I get whe...

For about a week or so now, there has been a huge outrage in the Assamese community concerning a particular "news item" shown on a regional channel which passed moral judgement on women based on what they were wearing. The said piece went from being riduculously stupid to simply bizarre ....comparing girls dressed in short skirts and shorts to monkeys! As expected, the channel had to withdraw the video and issue an apology. The outrage still continues though. My facebook newsfeed is full of satirical memes featuring the so called journalist and I have seen flyers of lectures and discussions being planned in colleges to protest the moral policing. As a person who swore off watching Assamese news channels years back for its regressive content, this kind of "reporting" didn't really come as a surprise to me. In fact, it was a similar segment I saw in another one of these channels a couple of years back which actually made me skip watching these channels in the f...