How many times have we come across hoardings of women dressed as Doctors, Army Officers, Engineers, Lawyers etc as poster-girls of women empowerment? How many times have we pointed out the likes of Kiran Bedi, Kalpana Chawla, Indra Nooyi, Sudha Murthy, Mithali Raj, Sania Mirza as role models to our girls? How many times have we come across posts on social media where two pictures are juxtaposed against one another- one of a group of women in a nightclub vs one of a group of women in uniform- telling us to pick the latter over the former? Is this what we mean when we say we want to “empower” our women?
In our society, a woman is “inspirational” only if she is either a financially independent, headstrong female shattering her way through patriarchal shackles or if she is a multitasking homemaker keeping an impeccable home and hearth, with a smile in place, no less. Both these versions of “ideal” women are -needless to say - morally stoic and upright with no vices whatsoever. Our “women centric” movies will always have token stereotypical representations of one middle aged/elderly lady being sassy, one hijab clad woman dunking the patriarchy, a heavy set woman telling us to love ourselves and our bodies just as we are, a homemaker fighting for her own identity…you get the general idea.
I do not mean to say that these represtantions are unnecessary, nor are they too far from reality. We need these stories to inspire us to keep fighting our little battles everyday, but why does a woman in our society need to be a achiever/multitasker/micromanager to be celebrated in the first place?
We all have come across women who may not be the best homemakers, women who have had a string of bad relationships, women who have fumbled at work and/or at home…simply put, women who don’t have it all figured out. The judgement that these women face is heartbreaking, to say the least- and you only have to add stuff like night outs, drinking and smoking to the list and these women might find themselves socially outcast in a blink of an eye.
This womens day, I hope we celebrate ALL women. Just like we celebrate ALL men just because they are born men. Let’s work towards not only just aspiring to be like our female role models, but also try to be less harsher on more kinder on those of us who are still figuring out life. We need inspiring stories to motivate us, true, but we also need a LOT more kindness and a lot less judgement when it comes to our women. This women’s day, celebrate the achievers for sure…but over and above all, give us the freedom to just…BE.
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